I have the emotional regulation of a highly hormonal 14 year old girl in her scene phase and I hate it.
Naughty Gemma ^‿^
Just rolled and lit a spliff. Appointments in 2 hours.
Shouldn’t be getting stoned….but wanted to curb my anxiety. Now I’m going to be paranoid that I look high and smell like weed ahhhhh I don’t have eye drops but I do have strong perfume 😏It’s okay
Think I was rude to A the other day. He was there when I went to see O at cmht and he kept trying to come in with O to talk to me and the last time he asked I basically just shouted ‘NOOO’ in his face.
Asked M if I actually did shout, he said I did and that A looked offended. Haha sorrrrryyy but no I do not want to be in a small room with two men. Don’t be asking me more than once.
Also A didn’t recognise me when he walked in the waiting room and I found that offensive so it probably contributed to me raising my voice at him.
Anyway seeing A at 3pm, don’t know why, or what I need him for. I think it’s going to be pointless and awkward and I feel like a bit of a fool for agreeing to this appointment.
Ah I’m so anxious
K’s going away today, I’ve got an appointment with A and then I’m going to have to walk home and tidy this shit hole up. Friends are coming tomorrow.
I feel sick
Oh yeah so when I saw O yesterday he told me that I haven’t actually been referred to Personality Disorder Services, but I may be referred after STEPPS. Interesting.
I did wonder about that because I knew they were in the same building as
cmht, kind of assumed I’d be under their care, but apparently not ahha 😒☺️