Omg, my girlfriends friend!!

She just asked if I’ve had therapy recently I said no.

THEN she said “is that why you have a bandage on your wrist”

I just looked at the floor and was like errr er and just started talking about how I’ve been withdrawing from my antidepressant and how I’ve had major mood swings. As I started stuttering and running out of words my girlfriend started talking about how weird my psych is. ❤️ love her for that.

I don’t even have my sleeves rolled up!! :( :( :(

Ahhh just going to roll a massive spliff. Can’t even look up from my phone and my stomach is now killing me.

Want to get in the bath.

Oh my fucckkkk can not deal with the sound of someone eating, want to punch them in the face Not going to, just going to internalise my anger -_-

TW: Self Harm

These cuts are really triggering.

Even tho they’re covered up - the fact that I have to keep my wrist covered, is triggering me.

I just want to slice up my itchy skin.

I’m feeling pretty apathetic towards everything right now, so I probably won’t do it.

I hate how scarred my body is but I can’t stop cutting it up. The only part I haven’t cut is the part I hate the ironic.

The other day I gave my razor blade to my gf and told her to get rid of it. Well done me.. When I was thinking about that earlier I realised that it was blunt anyway and I have a double sharpener in my make up bag…wish that didn’t make me smile. I am sick.

Really anxious and irritable.

A friend of my girlfriends is coming over this evening to stay the night. I’ve got a bandage on my wrist. Already feeling really awkward about it. She wants me to dye her hair. I always get really paranoid dying someone else’s hair. Couldn’t say no. Just going to have to deal with it.

Im not feeling very social or talkative today. Still really itchy and it’s pissing me off.

It’s also my good friends birthday and he’s on his way over too. Don’t mind him being around, it’s just we might go to the pub or out to eat.

On a brighter note we were going to try and get a bit of Mandy today. That’d definitely cheer me up and make today/tonight a breeze 😛 (not getting my hopes up tho)

People with BPD have been invalidated for so long that they don’t trust what they feel unless their feelings are overflowing and taking over the room.